I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize