My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
