Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
