i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
