I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize