Tell her she can't have a vagina
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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