I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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