dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
