i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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