I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
