Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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