do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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