If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
