Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
