does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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