And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
