Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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