apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize