Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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