your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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