if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
