Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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