I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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