You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
