Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
