My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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