When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
