I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I made him laugh his dick is mine
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
