One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
