my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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