I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
