Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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