Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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