i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
