But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
