Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the raccoons are back...
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