She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why do cheetos always look like penises
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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