I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
