Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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