i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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