Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
