So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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