Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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