I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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