$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
