Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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