Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
