Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
