A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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