I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize