Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
