shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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