I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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