I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
