I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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