just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
