YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
