You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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