so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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