my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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