im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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