Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
